pissed at the ex.

Everything I say, I’m the bad guy—but when she calls I can’t bear to say don’t call. It’s a shitty situation. I keep thinking she’s gonna get the point and end my addiction. My hands free addiction. She calls me, I get to hear her voice, feel some righteousness about the situation, and get to hope she understands why she’s wrong. All of these happen every time. I get the feeling it’s unhealthy. If I send the email sitting in my draft box right now, I will guarantee it will stop (there’s even a song attached[badly drawn boy, stone on the water{great breakup song}]). Or she’ll immediately call. That would be bad. I’d probably repair the damage with some well placed selfless comments. Then, I would know that I was in a never ending cycle. That’d be really bad.

but i'm getting past the point of caring--past the point of not sending the email--if it happens, things will change. she thinks things have changed now---oh no, just you wait.

end bitterness here.