i wish enterprise commercials were different

instead of having a hole in the front winshield, the enterprise car should drive blind, covered by brown-bag. it's more realistic that way.

cue nervousness

For the first time, I am becoming nervous about China. I spoke to a woman who seemed to want me to uncomfortable. She may have being trying to prove to me, and thereby herself, how difficult a thing she accomplished. Mentioning things I should worry about, things I should bring (latex gloves and syringes), and places I should go. Many of those things I don't think I have to worry about--visa difficulties, at least. but hey, a little worry never hurt anyone, as long as it doesn't ruin your day.

but any information helps, and it sounds like she had a good time despite her difficulties and doing it by the seat of her pants. very impressive. i just want it to go well, and for me to learn that Chinese. that is the key...to learn Chinese.

oh and by the way...harold is the new top chef. i love that guy.

junkfood holiday

dorm food--i'll be glad to be rid of it. dorm life in general. 10 years is a bit too long...but i'm not complaining, as it was my own decision. the problem is when you cook for a bit more than 80 on a weekend, the food suffers. variety is cut down, as is quality. i feel like nutrition might not even be a factor.

breakfast:
spinach eggs
brownish-black potatoes
pancakes
some sort of leftover beef
leftover broiled fish

lunch:
leftover deli meat
a lot of mayo and mustard
pickles
cantaloupe and honeydew melon salad (delicious.)

dinner (i kid you not):
pizza (cheese and pepperoni)
chicken fingers
nachos

not your 4 food groups, much less a full pyramid. what would morgan spurlock say?
after dinner there was an ice-cream social, with nothing left out--nuts, caramel, two types of sprinkles, cherries, whipped cream, hot fudge. at least they were comprehensive there.

now of course i ate all of it, and reveled in it. i have been trying to cut back some, but now i figure i have 2 weeks left, and i might as well make the most of it.

i just hope my heart doesn't fail before i leave here.

pissed at the ex.

Everything I say, I’m the bad guy—but when she calls I can’t bear to say don’t call. It’s a shitty situation. I keep thinking she’s gonna get the point and end my addiction. My hands free addiction. She calls me, I get to hear her voice, feel some righteousness about the situation, and get to hope she understands why she’s wrong. All of these happen every time. I get the feeling it’s unhealthy. If I send the email sitting in my draft box right now, I will guarantee it will stop (there’s even a song attached[badly drawn boy, stone on the water{great breakup song}]). Or she’ll immediately call. That would be bad. I’d probably repair the damage with some well placed selfless comments. Then, I would know that I was in a never ending cycle. That’d be really bad.

but i'm getting past the point of caring--past the point of not sending the email--if it happens, things will change. she thinks things have changed now---oh no, just you wait.

end bitterness here.